my huckleberry friend. (:

My family first stayed at Jurong west when both my sister and I were very young. At that time, my parents sent my sister to a childcare centre whereas I was sent to Malaysia to be taken cared by my grandma every 3 to 4 months. Whenever I’m back, I’ll accompany my parents to fetch my sister home from the childcare centre. Even though I did not attend it, but both my sister and I would join the supervisor and her family to church. I was barely five then. Though I can’t recall many events before I turned seven years old, but church was one significant event to me.

After a few years, we shifted out of the area, into Bukit Batok. I began to attend Bukit View Primary School, and that was how I got to know this friend, Merlyn. We became very good friends and her family invited me to their church, Singapore Bible Baptist Church. Somehow, when she invited me to church, I felt joy within me. Though at that time, I didn’t have a relationship with God, but I enjoyed myself at church. I attended their camp, and said the sinner’s prayer. But at that time, I didn’t know what it meant to “receive salvation”. Soon, Merlyn shifted out. And we both went into the next phase of our lives.

As I grew up, I became someone who loved to seek excitement, someone who was curious about the world. And I became very easily agitated and defiant towards my dad. It was like as if there was an angry monster within me. I wanted so badly for someone to understand what was happening to me. I ended up making friends with the “bad company”, got in and out of many wrong relationships. Though I knew the way I treated my family was wrong, though I knew that the things I did were not right, but I could not stop myself from doing all the wrong things. I just couldn’t understand why I did what I did, or why I felt what I felt.

Secondary four was my turning point. I was being made a scapegoat. And it was so bad that even people from the other streams knew about it. It hit me so suddenly, and hard. Because some of them who made me the scapegoat were my classmates. Not only were they my classmates, they were the people who I hang out with almost every day.

Because of this incident, I became very fearful and negative. Also, I found it hard to trust anyone. It felt like as though the bubbly girl just died. There was so much hurt and fear in me, even though I didn’t know if God is real or not, I turned to God every day. I needed someone to listen to me 24/7. Every day became a crying session as I told God about the fears and anger in me. I remember sitting in one corner of the bathroom, crying. It was this incident that made me felt God. Though I couldn’t see Him, somehow I just knew He was there listening and comforting me. It brought comfort to know that someone was listening to what I had to say. And every day in the bathroom crying, became a healing session.

Things got better for me emotionally. And He began to show me friends who I can really turn to, friends who were always there to support me. And I remembered telling God “If You are real, send me someone to invite me to church.” And indeed, I got to know Rhoda within a few months. Because He really sent “someone”, I couldn’t deny the fact that He really listens, even if it was just a thought in my mind.

After I gave my heart to Christ, my life started to change. That anger monster in me seems to have disappeared. And I had the mental strength to say “No” to temptations in life. My relationship with my family became better too. No longer will you hear the shouting and quarreling, no longer will u hear banging of the doors. I believe that when both my sister and I began to honor God, and allowed Him into our circumstances, He was really there to bring in healing into my family. Many times when I think back, I thank God for being in every phase of my life. Indeed, He is the God of my youth. I don’t regret asking Him to send someone into my life.

(:

- LiLeng.